


In The Beginning

by OrionMoka



Series: Wolf's Play [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky talks, Bucky's getting better, Steve finds bucky, Steve listens, They stay on Steve's floor in the Tower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 11:10:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16262987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrionMoka/pseuds/OrionMoka
Summary: Steve finds Bucky and learns some things.Read series overview for more information





	In The Beginning

Steve had found Bucky, after looking for so long. Sequestered away in a tiny, rundown apartment in Brooklyn. He’s been here hiding from Hydra, from Steve, from himself. Slowly, some of the conditioning has worn away but he’s still half way between the Bucky that Steve knows and the Winter Soldier that Hydra created. But he found him.

The state Bucky’s in, he’s completely pliant. Even simple suggestions like  _ let’s talk _ are taken as orders, and he thanks his stars that no one else found him. It scares him, to see Buck like this, with no directive or emotion, a blank slate. Still, it makes it so simple, so easy, to guide Bucky onto his bike and make it to the Tower, to his personal floor. 

He’ll have to talk to the team about it, knowing they all saw him arrive with who they recognise as the Winter Soldier. Maybe he’ll start with Nat, she’d be more familiar with the situation.

Instead of taking any actions in that direction though, he spends the next few days just living with Bucky, observing, interaction. There are bits and pieces drifting back, he can tell, and the first time a quiet, hesitant voice breaks the silence with a soft “ _ Stevie?”  _ He knows he can do this. He can help, he  _ has _ to help. Buck’s the only one who knows what it’s like to be here, to be  _ now _ after living in history. His Bucky is in there, buried deep, but there nonetheless. 

He wonders if the Wakandans could help with Bucky’s mental state, thinking about the advanced medical methods and developments they introduced to the world when they unveiled their true existence, but he wants to see what he can do on his own before asking for help. He doesn’t want anyone to meet Bucky in the state he’s in. So for now, he just talks. Brings up memories from before the war, mentions his friends. It takes two weeks for the flinches to stop anytime he says the name of another Avenger. It takes two months before Bucky joins the conversation. They talk, and he wraps his arms around Bucky because he’s noticed the man nearly  _ melts  _ into it, because after 70 years of isolation and orders, he realises how touch-starved his friend is. 

He’s told the team, of course, what’s going on. Shares the progress when he ventures out for food but it feels too early for Bucky to meet another person. Natasha disagrees, and Steve wonders if he’s being selfish, if maybe  _ he’s _ just not ready to share Buck. But the man is still vulnerable, still potentially dangerous. Nothing in Steve’s apartment has triggered the Winter Soldier, but they both know he’s there, just under the surface.

By five months, they have casual conversation. Bucky asks about the new technology, about all the things he missed out on. They play a new era of music each week and watch hit movies in the evenings, but they’re super soldiers and get restless, so finally, he asks Bucky to join him on his morning run, and Bucky says yes.

When they get back, the first smile shows on Buck’s face. It’s more of a half smirk, a small lilt to one side of his mouth, but it’s there and Steve has never seen anything so perfect and promising. It’s progress.

That night, Bucky starts talking. There’s little to no emotion, but he’s working through memories. He starts with when conditioning broke, when he  _ wasn’t  _ Winter Soldier, but it phases into missions he was sent on, orders he completed. Steve tells him he doesn’t have to share this, but Bucky says he  _ needs  _ to. He needs to process all the things his hands have done, and to do that he needs to voice it out loud. He thinks when he’s done, he wants to try meeting another person. He also agrees they should talk to the Wakandans and see what they can do to help.

When they get to Tony’s parents though, Steve makes him stop. He doesn’t want to hear more missions and kill orders until he decides what to do with the information. He should tell Tony. He  _ has _ to tell Tony. But he isn’t sure if he can. So they watch more movies. He helps Bucky make a Stark Email account. He thinks on it.

The thing is, he knows Tony’s parents have always been a sore spot, a still open wound for the millionaire. Anytime he’s mentioned Howard, Tony abruptly changes the topic or leaves the room. It will hurt him, to know what happened. To know  _ how _ it happened, especially with Bucky right here, but he knows his friend will want to be present, will demand it.

Steve is  _ nothing _ if he’s not honest though. So he has to tell him, has to make Tony understand that it wasn't Bucky. The Winter Soldier isn't Bucky, it wasn't Buck's fault.

It still takes him four weeks to build up the courage to start the conversation.


End file.
